The Need to Remember

I’ve been a funeral director for a long time, and I’ve been involved with the funeral / memorial industry even longer.

For years, I have shared with families (previously experiencing human loss, and now those experiencing pet loss) the need to pause to remember when someone or something we love dies.

I recently found myself on the “other side of the table” when a very good friend of almost 20 years, Ryan, passed away unexpectedly. I found myself feeling the emptiness, uncertainty, and extreme sadness I saw in so many families in my career.

Toward the end of Ryan’s illness and after he died, I remember thinking to myself “I hope there’s no service or gathering” – the whole time knowing it was going to be too painful to endure. When I learned that his family selected a funeral with a viewing, I became a bit panicked thinking about the days to come and how I would handle it.

The good news is I survived the day. So many friends and family from near and far gathered around those of us hurting the most and somehow in a hard to explain way, made it a bit easier. Knowing that others care enough to take time from their lives to comfort us was an amazing feeling.

I encourage you when facing any type of loss – human or animal – to take the time, put life on hold for a moment and acknowledge the sadness you feel. This is the price we pay for having loved. And, while there is no way around it, being surrounded by those who care so much about you will, without a doubt, be where the healing begins.